Mean Girls ©

High school; a place where it matters who your friends are. A place where the bigger your group of friends, the more accepted you feel amongst your peers. I used to think this way, and falsely believed being a part of a large group gave me confidence. Nothing could possibly go wrong because I had my "true friends" by my side. Occasionally, warning signs would appear telling me to step back and think about whether or not my relationship with the girls was healthy and worth keeping, but those thoughts were always brushed aside. We had fun and I needed them, that was until I realized I needed to learn to let go. Sometimes in life, the greatest challenge we face are with ourselves.


The beginning. Everything in life always seems so simple and carefree in the beginning. Forming friendships between the girls seemed effortless. My phone inbox always buzzed with a new text message and my weekends were successively booked; I felt accepted. There was never a worry during the breaks or lunchtime, because I knew exactly where to go. I had my spot and upon arrival, there would always be gossip flying across the table and warm, welcoming greetings from the girls. This was an usual day for me, actually, more like a good day. Times were not always so ideal. Other times, cold stares would flash from their lacquered eyelashes as I unsurely shuffled over. Whispers softly circled as I slowly and cautiously tried to squeeze myself a spot onto to the already crowded bench. No one smiled and nobody dared to make eye contact. The thought of rejection filled my head more than the curiosity of knowing what I had done to make them react so insolently. Yet, things were always better by the end of the day and I brushed off their actions. It's normal; I knew petty fights between girls were inevitable. Frankly, I wasn't exactly innocent myself when it came to the past "victims". After all, they were my true friends... right?


I woke up to my phone buzzing by my bedside. "Time to party birthday girl!" my friend squealed. It was finally the day of my sweet sixteenth and all the girls were invited. After weeks of preparations, everything was ready and set to go. The party was held at my father's new condominium downtown and all the girls assured me I picked a worthy location. However, there was only one problem; My friends were party girls. My father was quick to set the ground rules, but my friends thought of it as more of a gentle suggestion. Originally, the plan was to swim but the girls all whined and groaned about the dilemma of wet hair. One by one they slowly tip toed into the hot tub, making sure absolutely no water were to touch any area above their shoulders. They hastily secured their hair into neat buns on the tops of their heads as they grimaced at the boys who proceeded to cannonball into the pool. "Chicken fight!" the boys exclaimed as they yanked on my arm, throwing my body in with a splash. Looking back over at the girls, it was evident they were not very amused. "We'll start preparing some food upstairs" suggested one of the girls, and with that they disappeared.


I thought little of it until my best friend went upstairs for a towel, only to come back down confused. "Where did everybody go; the room was empty" she said with a questioning look. Hopping out of the pool, I went to go investigate. She was right. The room was left in a state of disaster, filthy and reeking of a pungent odour. Food was missing from the fridge, half empty drinks sat opened on the counter, and my friend's were clearly nowhere in sight. Did my "true friends" really just leave my birthday party only after an hour? Feeling hurt and lost, the emotions I felt started to overwhelm me as I barely held in the tears. Warm, reassuring hugs came from the remaining guests which consisted of four boys and my best friend. I started to blame myself. Maybe my party wasn't cool enough? Why didn't I follow them upstairs? In a failed attempt to isolate myself, I rudely left my guests. They however, continued to follow me and stayed by my side. "You don't need friends like that when you have us!" They said as I was sucked into a suffocating bear hug.


Though it took time, I slowly realized who my true friends really were. They were not the girls I originally thought, but instead the ones who stuck by me, and even still do today. They were the ones who helped me realize I needed to learn to be happy without them. Even though it was extremely painful losing them, I believe my birthday was an eye opening life lesson. Without this conflict, I would most likely still be a part of the clique of girls who, sadly, would pick a good time over their friends. Although I have since cut all ties between the girls, hearing about all that is said behind my back is never an easy thing to accept. Yet, I have learned and overcame one of the biggest obstacles of all; not with the girls but with myself.